史上最强中式英语不笑都不行

网络上流行的史上最强中式英语，也不知道是哪位高人收集整理的，反正你看了不笑都不行。本人相信这些句子是为搞笑而来，并非全是真实的。不过，这就是最地道的所谓“中式英语”：使用英文词汇，却是中文的语法进行中译英。

■we two who and who?
咱俩谁跟谁啊？

■how are you? how old are you?
怎么是你,怎么老是你？

■you don’t bird me, Idon’t bird you
你不鸟我,我也不鸟你

■you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers! together up!
你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上！

■you me you me
彼此彼此

■You give me stop!
你给我站住！

■know is know, no know is no know
知之为知之,不知为不知

■watch sister
表妹

■dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse’s sons can make hole!
龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子会打洞！

■American Chinese not enough
美中不足

■one car come one car go, two car pengpeng, people die.
车祸现场描述(一辆车来一辆车走,两车”嘭嘭”,人死了)

■heart flower angry open
心花怒放

■go past no mistake past
走过路过,不要错过

■小明:I am sorry!

老外:I am sorry too!

小明:I am sorry three!

老外:What are you sorry for?

小明:I am sorry five!

■if you want money, I have no; if you want life, I have one!
要钱没有,要命一条！

■I call Li old big. to year 25.
我叫李老大,今年25。

■you have two down son.
你有两下子。

■as far as you go to die!!
有多远,死多远！！

■if you don’t understand, don’t blind say!
不懂就别瞎说！

（原文发表于2007-10-31）